Self-Care for Caregivers

After a long day of caregiving, the evening hours offer a precious opportunity to reset, recharge, and prepare for restful sleep. As someone caring for a loved one with Cognitive Impairment (CI), you may find your own needs taking a back seat to your caregiving responsibilities. Establishing a consistent evening routine isn’t just a luxury – it is essential for your well-being and, by extension, your ability to provide the best care possible.

Consider your evening routine drawing a gentle line between your caregiving duties and your personal time. This routine helps you transition from the demands of caregiving to a state of relaxation and renewal. It is a natural winding-down process that allows your body and mind to recognize that it’s time to shift gears and reduce the stress and anxiety that often accompany caregiving responsibilities.

When you follow the same calming activities each night, your body’s internal clock regulates, making it easier to fall asleep and wake up refreshed. Improved sleep quality enhances your emotional resilience, sharpens your decision-making abilities, and helps you sustain the patience and compassion essential for caregiving.

Beyond the physical benefits, you gain a sense of control in an unpredictable situation. Your evening routine can be a dependable anchor, a predictable sequence of self-care activities that helps you maintain your emotional equilibrium.

Think of your evening routine as a gift you give to yourself and your loved one. Taking care of yourself creates a more favorable environment for both of you. If you are like me, caring for someone with CI fills your entire day—medications, appointments, daily care—and is physically and emotionally demanding.

I gathered the following practical ways to create an evening routine while researching my book and living with someone with CI:

Consistency—Start your winding down routine around the same time every night. The exact time isn’t as important as keeping it regular. You may be surprised how quickly your body starts naturally responding to these daily cues.

Nonverbal Cues - Try gradually dimming the lights, closing the curtains, or putting on comfortable clothes. These cues may help your loved one with MCI understand and respond to environmental changes, especially if processing verbal instructions is challenging.

Music – Add some music to your evening routine. Music has a way of touching our emotions and memories. Try creating a peaceful evening playlist. It doesn’t have to be classical music (unless that’s your thing!). Just choose whatever gentle, familiar tunes both of you enjoy – soft jazz, nature sounds, or beloved songs from long ago. The key is to pick music that helps both of you feel calm and content.

Routines should not feel like a straitjacket. Life happens, and some days don’t go as planned. Build some flexibility into your routine. Use it as a guide. The goal is to reduce stress, not add to it. What matters most is finding a rhythm that brings peace to your evening. Pay attention to how you and your loved one respond to different activities and timing. When something feels right – when you notice more smiles, easier transitions, and calmer evenings – you’ll know you’re on the right track.

Caregiver Self-Care Routine

I know what you’re probably thinking, “Self-Care? Who has time for that?” But here’s the truth—your well-being isn’t optional. It’s the foundation of everything you do as a caregiver. Those challenging moments feel ten times harder when you're running on empty. But when caring for yourself, you’ll find you have so much more to give.

Think about gentle ways to keep your body moving during your evening routine. Maybe it’s a relaxing stretch while watching your favorite show, a short walk around the block when another family member can be with your loved one, or even some simple chair yoga. Your body works hard all day; it deserves this time to unwind and release tension.

Try keeping some easy, nourishing snacks handy—maybe some nuts, fruit, or yogurt. Don’t forget to stay hydrated, too, and ease up on the caffeine after 2 p.m. Your future self will thank you when bedtime rolls around.

Make your sleep a priority. I know it’s tempting to use those quiet evening hours to catch up on chores or scroll through your phone, but quality sleep is your secret weapon as a caregiver. Try to create a sleep environment that feels like a sanctuary. Keep your bedroom cool and dark, add some soft bedding, and consider using a white noise machine if it helps you relax. Your bed should be your retreat from the world.

You need ways to close some of those tabs before bed. Maybe it’s taking ten deep breaths, writing in a journal, doing a brief meditation, or saying a prayer—whatever helps you release the day’s worries. I keep a notepad by my bed to jot down any nighttime thoughts or to-dos, allowing my mind to let go until morning.

Does everything feel overwhelming? Your body and mind tell you they need some extra TLC. Don’t wait until you’re running on fumes to implement these self-care practices. Think of them as regular maintenance for your most valuable caregiving tool—yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

Balancing Care and Self-Care

Finding time for yourself while being there for your loved one can feel like trying to solve a puzzle where the pieces keep moving. Finding this balance isn’t just nice to have – it’s essential for you and the person you care for.

Start small. Maybe just 15 minutes of quiet time with your morning coffee before the day begins, or a peaceful shower where you let your thoughts drift away with the water. These little moments of solitude are like tiny deposits in your emotional bank account.

You don’t have to do this alone. Reaching out for help isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s one of the most substantial things you can do. Your support network might be more significant than you think. Family members, friends, neighbors, religious communities, local support groups are often just waiting to be asked. Sometimes people want to help but don’t know how.

Try making a list of people you could reach out to, even for insignificant things. Maybe your neighbor could sit with your loved one for 30 minutes while you take a walk. Perhaps a family member could handle one evening a week, giving you time for that book club you’ve been missing. Or maybe there’s another caregiver in your community who’d understand exactly what you’re going through—someone you could share tips and experiences with over a cup of coffee or a glass of tea.

Asking for help isn’t admitting defeat, it’s creating a circle of care that benefits everyone. When you have support, you bring a refreshed presence to your caregiving role. Your loved one feels the difference when you’re less stressed and more present. It’s like the difference between trying to light a room with a flickering candle versus opening the curtains to let in the sunlight. Having support helps you shine brighter.

Conclusion

As I wrap up this conversation about evening routines and self-care, I want you to remember that you’re doing sacred work. Caring for someone with CI is an expression of love, commitment, and compassion. To keep that light of compassion burning bright, you need to tend to your own flame.

Evening routines are a daily promise to yourself and your loved one that you’re in this for the long haul. When you create those peaceful evening moments, maintain consistent schedules, play gentle music, and make time for your own self-care, you are preparing for a better tomorrow.

Think of all the pieces I have discussed—the gentle wind-down routines, the importance of movement, nourishing food, good sleep, and the courage to ask for help when you need it. Each of these elements is like a thread weaving together to create something beautiful and sustainable. You don’t have to perfect everything at once. Start with what feels most manageable and gradually add more threads as you’re ready.

Your well-being matters for everyone who depends on your care and love. You deserve the same patience, kindness, and attention that you so generously give to others.

As you head into your evenings, I hope you’ll hold these words close to your heart. Take those small steps toward better self-care. Embrace the peace that comes with consistent routines. Be gentle with yourself along the say. You’re not just a caregiver, you’re a person worthy of care, too.